To Kitty
***
Jeff Kitty-Cat was nudged awake. He opened his droopy eyelids, revealing the shaker, Mrs. Kitty-Cat. She gave him a stern look. He knew that look. 'Get out of bed, Jeff! You're going to miss the bus!' or 'You're going to be late for work!' Both usually came with the look."
All right, Ma! Let me wake up!"
She left with a huff. She didn't want her baby boy to miss his work's social event of the year. The Fireman's Banquet happened once a year, every year. So long as he didn't quite the force, he'd be safe for next year's banquet. But no, his mother had wanted him to go again this year. Last year was fun, if you like being vomited on and in by the men and women in the force. Apparently, this was a tradition going back a century-- being vomited on-- or so the Lieutenant had told him. How was he to know. He was the rookie then.
Showering and dressing himself, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, straightening his suit. There, out of the corner of his eye, came his mother. She immediately started in on combing Jeff's hair. "Ma!, come on now! I'm a big boy! Gosh!"
She snickered, looking to her feet. Jeff shrugged at this. "I'm sorry, ma," he apologized.
"No, no. Ever since your father... he was in the force thirty years."Ma had been like this before since Dad passed. It had only gotten worse since he joined the force to look for something else in his life. What did he find, other than not liking being hurled upon? An increased nagging from his mother. She wanted him to quit the force, but only after he'd found the right woman at the banquet.
"You can meet all sorts of nice people at work," his mom would say, even before he joined up. She said that more now. That's where she met dad. At one of his banquets. They'd been together for nearly thirty-five years.
"Ma, there's nobody I'm going to meet there."
"No one that has a crush on you?" she perked up.
"No. The only women that ever go to the banquets now are taken or are lesbians."
Mrs. Kitty-Cat flustered at Jeff's comment. "I'm sorry, Ma. Just let me worry about it, ok? Maybe, just maybe, there'll be someone there for me. We can only hope and pray."
"Hope and pray," his mother repeated.
***
"Hey, Jeff! How are ya!"
"I'm good Hugo. How are you?" Jeff shook an overly excited Hugo's hand. Hugo, much like his own mother had hoped, wished he could find a woman at the banquet.
"Great Jeff, just great! The Lieutenant's got his bet on me this year, Jeff. Who's lagging back, huh?" He laughed, pacing off into the banquet hall, all the while channeling Groucho Marx. Jeff looked around, not a woman detatched from a man's hip in sight.
Jeff slugged his way into the banquet hall, where he was greeted by the Lieutenant and Chief. "Hi, Jeff. Did mommy get you dressed for tonight?" the Lieutenant asked. Laughs were exchanged before the chief spoke up.
"Lieutenant Felix says you're one of the best in his crew, Jeff. Is that so?"
Jeff quickly looked to Lt. Felix then to the Chief. "I don't know if I'd say the best, sir-" Jeff stammered.
"Nonsense, Jeff. You do a magnificent job, as do the other men in your crew."
"Thank you, sir." Jeff said, saluting to his superiors. They returned his salute and excused themselves to the hunt.
Jeff too looked around once more. He wasn't in a great position; at the head of the banquet hall. The place where those with a... lesser aptitude hung out, in front of the stage area. He need to get where the action was: near the bathrooms. He snuck and slinked and wiggled and wobbled his way through the crowds, letting nothing stop him except his ultimate goal. There, only mere feet away was the hunting grounds! Time to choose a spot. There! Near the entrance to the janitor's closet. Not a prime location, but it would have to do.
He placed himself to the left of the janitor's closet and right of the women's bathrooms. From this vantage point, he'd be able to pounce on any unsuspecting woman he wanted. Jeff stood there momentarily, catching a glimpse of a striking woman taking the nearly exact route he'd taken from the stage. God!, how was it that she was able to maneuver through that gaggle?! There was no time to think about that now, as she exited from the crowd. She looked him up and down before entering into the bathroom. The question bacame taken or single? How could have she gotten through that crowd without getting the pounce? But then, what if she was taken? And what if here boyfriend tried to start something. If he wasn't in the force, that would be fine. But if he was in the force... you just didn't want to mess with that.
Before Jeff could dash his own hopes any further a commotion rang through the hall. Little more had he turned than it was upon him. In the middle of it, Hugo, his crew mate.
"Let me go," Hugo slurred. "I'm not drunk yet!"
"You've had a little too much to drink, Hugo," the Chief said, dragging Hugo along the arm with the aid of Lieutenant Felix. "We'll cal you a cab home. Somebody, get a cab!" the Chief screamed.
"Can I help you, Felix?" Jeff asked.
"No, we've got Hugo under control. You just have a good time."
"Yes, sir."
"Whoa!" Hugo had gained muscle points from his inibriety, flinging Felix back into Jeff, sending him flying forward. Not good, Jeff thought. The women's bathroom.
***
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Hugo was drunk and the Chief and Felix were-"
Jeff looked up to find the woman before, staring at him. She was not one bit surprised to see him, that devilish smile crossing her face. She rolled her cigarette around her lips, taking it and puffing its smoke.
"I'm sorry, ma'am. There's a ruccous outside and-- there's no smoking allowed in here. If it wouldn't be a trouble?"
She looked at her cigarette, took one last puff and lay it down on a drapery which tried to cover a long bricked-up window. Jeff, crouched over, looked at her slack-jawed. She was breaking the law, the crime of arson. He tried to tell her to desist, but what good was that when the building was on fire? She nudged past him, giving another smile. The fire alarms blared now, as the women's bathrom was almost fully engulfed. Jeff and the other patrons of the banquet rushed out the fire exits, turning to see the banquet hall in flames.
"Will somebody tell me what just happened?" the Chief howled.
Jeff snuck away across the street to the abandoned tire factory. He sat on the curb, horrified at what he let happen. How? Why? he loved his job, and protecting against fire, no matter what or who was the cause. Jeff held his head low and thought. Just thought.
"I've never had someone watch me before," a woman's voice. The pyro. Jeff loked up to see her lighting two cigarettes. She passed one off to him.
"I don't smoke," Jeff winced.
"Take it," she insisted. He took the cigarette, putting it on his lip. "That's better. Can I sit down?" Jeff gave her a peculiar look. "What was that for?"
"There's no one elese here, is there?"
She laughed. "No, I suppose not."
"Why did you do it?"
"I have my reasons."
Jeff looked to her and she to him. His thoughts were flying about. Her sneaking into the bathroom, thinking maybe he had a shot; her setting the hall on fire... her. What was her name? "What's your name?"
"Catherine. Cat, for short. You're not going to take me in, are you?" She asked, sticking her wrists out. Jeff shrugged off her bad joke. Catherine smiled, stamping out her cigarette. "You? What's your name?"
"Jeff," he blurted.
"Want to have some fun, Jeff?" His ears perked up. Cat noticed, begining to rub behind them. "Not sex, just fun. Call me old-fashioned-"
"Yes,please," Jeff said, looking at the flaming mess.
"What do you want to do, Jeff?"
"Anything but be here. You have anywhere we could go?"
Cat purred at Jeff's suggestion. "I know a few places. You know what, Jeff? I can tell that we're going to be real good friends."
"Really?"
She nodded, grabbing at his paw. They walked off, into an artificial sunset, paw in paw looking for an adventure.
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